


first kiss

by GlassRose



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:44:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRose/pseuds/GlassRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's been working up the courage to confess something to Steve for awhile now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	first kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters but as the author of the story I do not want this posted anywhere else without my explicit permission.

"Ship came in," Bucky remarks, watching the activity in the streets. He's sitting with Steve on the fire escape in the late afternoon.

Steve nods slowly. "Lot of men looking to have some fun on their leave," he comments. The sailors stand out against the civilians in their uniforms. They could wear civvies, but Bucky supposes they hope some folks will be more than happy to "do their civic duty" and take a Navy man home. He idly wonders if there's some secret passphrase on ships, so all the sailors who'd want to come to this part of town will be told where to go without arousing the suspicion of the sailors who are strictly interested in women. When he voices this query, Steve scowls. "Well if there is, there shouldn't have to be."

And isn't that just like Steve, always standing up for the little guy, despite very thoroughly _being_ the little guy. Sure, you can be treated worse than an Irish-American, poor-as-dirt, asthmatic, red-green colorblind, short, and scrawny boy—after all, you could be a homosexual black woman in the Deep South—but there's no denying Steve has been dealt one shitty-ass hand. And he never stops fighting. You can't help but respect a man like that. If you've got any sense, that is. It's astonishing how many people Bucky has to punch sense into on a regular basis.

A wind comes up, and Steve shivers, so Bucky hauls him to his feet. "C'mon, pal, let's get inside." Steve rolls his eyes, but he follows Bucky inside. "Your mom coming home soon?" Bucky asks, parking himself on the old sofa.

Steve shrugs. "Not for a bit, I don't think." He sits beside Bucky.

Today is the day he's going to tell Steve. Not everything, 'cause Steve doesn't need to know everything, but talking about the sailors is enough of an opening to the confession Bucky has been gathering the courage to make. Steve will understand. Probably.

No, definitely. 'Cause he's Steve. Bucky bites his lip, trying to find the right way to tell him. "Hey, Stevie," he begins.

Steve blinks. "Huh?"

"Uh, what you said about the…about sneaking around if you're, you know, um, queer?"

"It's just plain wrong that anyone has to. I don't understand why—"

Bucky cuts him off, because Steve will rant about injustice forever, and Bucky needs to tell him before he loses his nerve. "Yeah, I know. You're right," he says, and this shouldn't scare him, because it's _Steve_ , and Steve is his best friend, and Steve is really, really nice, but it's one thing to say homosexuality shouldn't be outlawed and another thing to find out your best friend is one of them. "Yeah, well, I uh, I sometimes…I like boys." And now it's out there, the flat truth, and Steve's just staring at him, and fuck, he shouldn't have said anything, oh god, Steve's going to figure out what else he's been hiding, _shit_.

"I thought you liked girls," Steve says, and then he turns red. "Sorry, I just—"

"I do like girls," Bucky says quickly. "I just, I like both. That…that happens. I guess. I mean, it does, and I'm living proof, and—" He shuts up, because if he keeps babbling like this, heaven knows what he'll blurt out to Steve.

"Oh thank god," Steve says, and Bucky's mouth drops open because that was _not_ what he was expecting Steve to say.

"Thank god for what, exactly?" Bucky asks.

"Just…good to know I'm not the only one."

And Bucky Barnes has no more bones in his body. He sinks into the couch, relief, nerves, and hope—something he hasn't felt in a long time—making his body tingle. Hope. Because Steve likes boys. And Steve…could like him. It could happen. Bucky is good at flirting and reading people's romantic intentions. He can do it with Steve like he does with anyone else.

Hopefully.

"Maybe when I turn eighteen I'll go pick up one of those sailors," he says, sitting up and forcing his body to relax. "Never let it be said that Bucky Barnes shirks his civic duty."

Steve laughs. "Yeah?" he says. "Well maybe I will too."

Bucky closes his eyes and leans in as he slowly opens them, smiling playfully. It's a move that at least three girls have told him is objectively hot. "Tell me about your dream sailor."

Steve's eyes widen, and Bucky can see his pupils are dilated. Then Steve shakes his head and raises his eyebrows. "My dream sailor, Buck? Really?"

Good save, but Steve's got something in his head all right. Bucky wants to know what it is. "All right, your dream man then. What does he look like?"

Steve tilts his head, searching Bucky's face for something. Either he finds it or he gives up, but he finally says, "Well, he's kinda tall. Sweet. Smart. Likes science."

That's generic enough. It doesn't really surprise Bucky that Steve wants a smart, nice boy. "What color are his eyes?"

"Blue," Steve says without hesitation.

"Hair?"

"Mmm…brown. He keeps it short and neat." Steve smiles to himself. "But when he gets out of bed in the morning, it's a mess and he still looks adorable."

This is…no. Bucky will not get his hopes up. That descriptor could fit a lot of men. And just because Bucky's hair is an unholy mess in the mornings doesn't mean he looks cute with it sticking up in all directions. "I suppose you wanna see him in the mornings?" he nudges.

"I want to see him all the time," Steve says, and he's not smiling anymore. His eyes are fixed on Bucky as he murmurs, "He's got this voice, when we're alone, all low and sultry. It makes me feel all tingly when he whispers in my ear, and when he bites his lip, my brain shuts down."

Bucky realizes his teeth are digging into his lower lip and remembers only a couple minutes ago when Steve had blinked in confusion at him after…after he'd been biting his lip. Holy shit, Steve's not fooling around here. Bucky's stomach is doing backflips and his body is hot all over. "And how—" He chokes on the words and tries again. "And how do you want him to…to ask you to…."

Steve is trembling as he leans forward just a little to say, "In my dreams, he just puts his hand on my cheek and kisses me."

Bucky swallows as he reaches up to cup Steve's cheek, running his thumb along the cheekbone, and kisses Steve on the mouth. It's dry and awkward, just a press of lips together, and Bucky draws away before Steve can finish kissing back. "Like that?" Bucky manages, his voice ragged.

"Not quite," Steve answers, grinning like an idiot.

And this, this Bucky will not stand for. "What the hell, Steve?" he splutters. "You just described me, ya punk, are you kidding me, I just—mmph!" Steve cuts him off by grabbing his face and kissing, tongue pushing at Bucky's lips until he opens his mouth and oh god, yes, he's kissing Steve Rogers, _really_ kissing him. He sweeps his tongue along Steve's teeth, and Steve bites his lower lip. Bucky whimpers and drags Steve onto his lap, pressing their foreheads together.

"More like that," Steve whispers, and Bucky whines, kissing him again as Steve digs his fingers into Bucky's shoulders.

"Oh my god."

Steve and Bucky jerk around to see Sarah standing in the doorway. They spring apart. "Mom," Steve says quickly, "it's not what—"

"Don't." Sarah shuts the door.

"I should go," Bucky says, jumping up, but Sarah slams the deadbolt into place.

"Sit," she orders, pointing at the couch. Bucky obeys, his gut twisting horribly. He really _likes_ Mrs. Rogers, and now she's going to hate him. Sarah drags a chair from the kitchen table to the couch and sits in it, facing the boys. "I'm going to be honest, this is a talk I hoped I would never have to have."

"Mom, I—"

"Just let me talk, sweetie." Sarah runs a hand over her face. "First things first, I love you both. Very much. This could never change that. I need you to know that."

Bucky and Steve look at each other. The knot Bucky's stomach loosens just a little.

"I know you're sixteen and seventeen and think you're invincible, but you're not. I know it's wrong that this is something you have to hide, but you could go to jail. You could be forced to undergo horrible so-called 'reparative' procedures. You could be murdered just because. There's a lot of terrible things that come with, with this."

Bucky slides a protective arm around Steve. "We'll be careful," he says. But she's right, Bucky knows she is. He doesn't want to subject Steve to the shit that comes with being queer. On the other hand, Steve _is_ whether Bucky's with him or not. And Bucky's been watching his ass for awhile now, so there's no reason to think he'd be safer without Bucky.

"Yes," Sarah says firmly, "you will. You won't sneak off into bathrooms to kiss. You won't hold hands in public. When you are together in public, you watch how you're standing."

"Watch how we're standing?" Bucky asks. "Sorry, is there a stance that says 'I like men' or something?"

"Lovers tend to gravitate physically toward each other. You have to make sure you don't. And don't go telling people you don't trust completely. I've seen homosexuals betrayed by people they thought were their friends. I don't want that to happen to you two."

"We'll keep it quiet, Mom," Steve says, taking her hands.

"I know," Sarah says, sniffling. "I'm going to be scared anyway. Mothers are like that." Steve slides off the couch to hug her. Bucky looks down uncomfortably as Sarah squeezes her son. Finally she lets go of him and stands up. "And Bucky Barnes?"

Bucky jerks up. "Ma'am?"

"He's my son, so if you break his heart, I'll break your face."

And suddenly everything's okay. Bucky feigns a look of terror and nods, eyes wide. "Yes, ma'am."

"I'm going to take a bath. You two had better be good to each other."

"We will," Steve says, turning to Bucky with his unfairly brilliant smile. As Sarah disappears into the bathroom, Steve reseats himself on Bucky's lap. "Can we do this? Really?" Steve asks.

"I can't imagine wanting anyone else," Bucky whispers, and it's the truth. He's made out with some people here and there, but Steve has always been first in his heart.

And as Steve leans in to kiss him, Bucky knows his heart made the right decision.


End file.
